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Does Obama Have Superpowers?

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December 8, 2012 in Weird News


The current president has done many things resembling a dictator but that’s probably a misunderstanding… Obama only appears so because congress isn’t always willing to do what he wants so actually our president must have superpowers kinda like batman or superman. With his amazing collective socialists powers Obama can point anywhere and peace bomb or point at whomever then have them secretly arrested. He can turn one vote into two and people voted for him even beyond the grave. I heard Obama single handily caught and shot his arch nemesis Osama after somehow had managed to return from the dead. We need stricter laws just in case the boogeyman Bin Laden rises from the grave again Pirates of the Caribbean style. He has the ability to change official stories multiple times and make the changes official. He can read off a teleprompter from over a mile away. Obama never tells a lie, people only misunderstand his superior intellect. Executive orders are just another day on the job. He gives away free Obama-phones so citizens can call whenever there’s trouble and Obama always saves them. He promised free cars and houses then did exactly that by repossessing them from unworthy citizens. Obama prevents terrorists attacks every minute by a magic list that they check twice. By having everyone’s records from his super spying powers he now is able to determine naughty from nice and read minds. He doesn’t break the law, only bends them with his super strength because they get in his way. Obama didn’t release his real birth-certificate because he was probably from the same planet as superman. He wants everybody’s guns taken away because he needs more crimes to fight himself. If one talks bad about super Obama then tomorrow they might wake up fired from their job. With super Obama in control why even have checks and balances or even a government at all for that matter…


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1 response to Does Obama Have Superpowers?

  1. Very true, Logan~With the help of advisors and lapdogs in his administration, congress and the courts as well as mainstream media, he may as well have incredible super-powers. On the flipside, folks like you, Alex and the rest of us Infowarriors are his Kryptonite to a far greater degree than Romney could ever be~

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