December 12, 2012 in Uncategorized
Chapter 4: Golgotha
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
The same was in the beginning with God.
All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing
made that was made.” (John 1:1-3)
What is that Word of which it is told to be God and which without
there was not a thing made that was made?
İn the former chapter we said that God stands above all states that
you or any other, or every one all together may occupy. God
stands above everything that can be experienced physically.
These are only states and they are changable. İt is certainly
possible to move from one state to another. İn fact this is what we
do all the time, although unconsciously. Those passages from one
state to another is what we call Life. And how is it done? By while
being in one state, conceiving another and identifying with it. Once
we’ve done that-the thing is done. But there is an endless number
of states from which we can conceive, according to our ability to do
so, and from this “endless” we pick one or a few. But conceiving
them is not enough. İn order to live them , we have to experience
them, and in order for us to experience them, these states that in
this stage are only conceinved, have to become visable.
The endless number of states from which you can chose and that
stand above everything that you behold- that is God, which
nessecarily brings to a conclusion that this particular state that you
have chosen from this whole is the Son of God. These are not two
different beings, neither are the separate from you, but the pieces
of one whole that is All There Is, whether you can see it or are able
to conceive it or not. In order for you to be able to experience All
There Is, it has to fragment in pieces, states, for you to experience
them one at the time, because there is no way the human mind
can conceive them all at once.
As already said in the chapter on the symbols, the Son symbolizes
your ideal in your own eyes- that same lofty idea that you can
conceive, and this idea is only one of an unexhaustable whole of
Your ability to conceive a certain state is The Word. This idea that
you have just conceived is now in your head (the place of the
skull), but in order for it to manifest you will have to live it. This is
the crucifixion that you have just sentenced yourself to.
Beside of literally being a very cruel execution story, in its higher
meaning, the story of crucifixion symbolizes the fulfillment of an
idea and its becoming visible reality.
Stand in front of a mirror, spread your arms to your sides and you
will see the cross. You are the cross, and the crucified is you also.
When you nail the crucified (your ideal) to the cross (your physical
being), you actually sentence him to die to his being an ideal, and
become an integral part of your visible reality.
When the idea (The Word, God) is conceived and becomes part of
your thoughts about yourself in way of definition and identification
(carrying the cross), you actually sentence him to die on the cross.
Your identity with the idea, and relating it to your self with your
imagination and emotions, make the idea cease of its loftiness and
become actual. The thing is done when a path of incidents opens
in front of you (way of agony, The Via Dolorosa), by which it is
going to be manifest. At the end of this path there is something
new that did not exist for you before
.A new definition by which you will be able to define yourself and
that you couldn’t until now. This is the birth of a new I AM when it
manifests. Therefore it is possible to resemble the way of agony to
the labor of the birth of this I AM. The labor of the birth of The Son.
And all this leads you to Golgotha.
Usually when reading scripture, the duty of interpreting the
symbols is ours, but not in this case. Here, scripture does not
leave a chance for you not to understanding, and it repeats in all
“And they bring him unto the place Golgotha, which is, being
interpreted, The place of a skull. “ (Mark 15:22)
The place of the skull is where you attach to the idea, just like that
with nails, artificially at first, in a way that looks almost absurd at
first, in your imagination, and then little by little you become the
It is not a physical locality that can be found on the map, although
like many other places mentioned in scripture became religious
sites, it is necessary to relate to the church of The Holy Sepulchre,
and inside it The Crucifixion shrine that is also called Golgotha that
according to tradition is where the historical crucifixion took place.
Well, we’ve already said that the events are not historical but
psychological, they didn’t happen many years ago but happen all
the time, and I think you are beginning to acknowledge this fact.
Although the place gives feeling of awe, and the visit there is a
very special kind of experience, understanding things as they
really are gives the whole occasion a much deeper touch, for it is
not told of that image that the beautiful statue shows, but of you.
Statues are none of our business. We are looking for Essence.
Although it is a beautiful place to visit, and indeed worth visiting,
even if not necessarily out of religious reasons, no one has to
travel a long way , sometimes hundreds or even thousands
kilometers to reach Golgotha or any other place of pilgrimage.
And this of course within the frames of my modifying according to
some knowledge that I have gained during still dealing with
research on the story of crucifixion, in which almost every book
that I read knew to tell that the places of crucifixion and burial in
those times where outside the city walls because of being
defilement, while the church of The Holy Sepulchre is deep inside
the walls and contains both the place of the crucifixion and the
tomb. But this is only a small detail although it surely arouses a
I don’t see this argument to be relevant because this is not what is
really important. What is really important is that this is not the story
of someone that lived or not two thousand years ago but your own.
This is the only explanation to the phenomenon that is called Life,
for you maybe still a theoretical one, but when you understand and
start experiencing, you see that there is no one that can give you a
better explanation besides the one that life just happens, which is’
of course untrue.
Therefore this place is not a physical one, nor is it the crucifixion
shrine in the Holy Sepulchre, it is the very place in your head (the
place of the skull) in your consciousness, where the idea arises
and little by little attaches to you and becomes an in-separable part
of you. This is exactly the place where the whole Drama called Life
Golgotha is the manifestation of your mental activity. It is the
coming to pass of the things that you can conceive in your
imagination regarding to who and what you are. Doing it
Consciously, it will be your perception of your ideal in your own
eyes, and if done unconsciously, then these are all you, the self
definitions that attract the reality in which you live.
Every person has different ideals, different ambitions, different
levels of morality, a different way of thinking, a different
personality, but even if two people had exactly the same ideal, the
same idea to manifest, the way it comes to pass would have been
different for each of them because of all these qualities mentioned,
according to his perception of the idea and his way of progressing
on the path of incidents that opens the minute the idea, The Word,
“Whither I go, thou canst not follow me now”(John 13:36)
This is an individual spiritual process and it happens to you only. İt
is almost like you cannot take anyone with you into your dream,
neither can you ask them if they remember what you dreamt last
This reminds me of a book that we learned in the literature class in
high school. The book’s name is The Narrow Path (A.A.Kabak)
and it tells the story of the gospels from a different point of view.
But the thing that remained in my memory is the epigraph that the
author chose for this book, a quote from the external books:
“A city was built and it was established in a plain place, and it
is abundant of all good. And it has a narrow passageway at
the slope, and on its right there is fire and on its left deep
waters, and one path between them, between the fire and
waters, and the path cannot bear but the steps of one man, and if
the city is given to the man to inherit, and the man does not
pass through the dangerous place, how then will he receive
his inheritance?” (IV Ezra 5:6-9)
I think you already know how to interpret the symbols and any
further word is unnecessary. This is another way of describing
what happens on the cross.
The idea now attaches to you and becomes an in-separable part of
you. The idea is now crucified and it suffers the conflict between its
being an ideal and the sensual and physical limitations that the
cross puts. From these limitations arise the doubts about its
fulfillment and it is mocked by your sensual and rational perception
that reflects a completly different reality. This is the conflict
between the earthly and the lofly, between the facts of life and your
ideal, between that which is visibly seen and that which is not yet
seen, between that which exsists and the one whos coming is
promised. One thing is for sure- one of them has to go.
Another thing that I’ve learned during my research about the story
of crucifixion is that the death on the cross was caused by
strangulation because of the crucified’s position. This is a
physiological fact but it can certainly be taken as a symbol
regarding the instruction of what should happen if the ideal is to be
manifest, an instruction written in Isaiah:
“Cease ye from man, whose breath is in his nostrils: for wherein is
he to be accounted of ?” (Isaiah 2:22)
Well, this of course does not mean that you are now going to
exercise halting your breathe, nor an heroic suicidle attempt by
choking. The meaning is of course the ceasation of your physical,
sense based perception of yourself as one that identifies only with
the reality that the senses absorb, which is a necessary condition
for the manifestation of the ideal. İt means to stop thinking that you
live just because of your ability to breathe, but because of the only
explaination there is to the phenomenon of life, illustarated in
scripture as the story of crucifixion. This verse actually puts you in
the center of all the appearnaces that you witness in life. You don’t
live because you merely breathe. You live because you are all those
things that you go through on your self. Therefore, dont think that :
“And the LORD God … breathed into his nostrils the breath of
life; and man became a living soul.” (Genesis 2:7)
is merely your ability to breathe. When God breathes the breath of
life in you, he breathes no less than Himself, and this is the only
reason for everything that you behold that happens in your life. I
will remind again that it is spoken of no one else but your Self.
Freedom Barry explains:
“Any person in the world, regardless of his advantages or
world preparations, can become whatever he wishes to be.
Does that appear to promise too much? Then, lest you be
misled, let me quickly add this modification: no one becomes
his ideal by merely wishing to be it. In the very depths of your
being, in your imagination, you must feel that you are that
ideal already. You can rise no higher than the way you identify
yourself habitually. In this process of completely abandoning
the Self of you to a new definition you have chosen for
yourself, you are personally fulfilling one of the three greatest
mysteries in Christian doctrine, namely, the Crucifixion.”( I
DO/ The Abandonment)
Indeed an abandonment it is, in fact two. The first is the
abandonment of man to his self definition as identified with the
visible reality as the only reality there is, and the second that
originates from this one, is God abandoning you, and I will, of
course, not leave this statement unexplained:
In the beginning of this chapter I quoted the verse about The Word
being God. The Word is that same ideal that you have chosen for
yourself from the in-exhaustable whole of possibilities from which
you could choose. Once you have crucified The Being, that is
identified with it completely, you have, in fact, sentenced it to die to
its Godhood. If it is now an in- separable part of your physical
being, then it cannot be God anymore. The Word is not anymore
something that keeps you busy spiritually, that is in your
imagination, but becomes actual and visible. We have already said
that God is a spiritual term and is not to be taken physically,
therefore, if The Word becomes earthly- then it stops being God.
Parenthetically I will say not to worry, for although The Word
ceases of its Godhood, God never ceases to BE. If there is
anything that God cannot do, then it is to cease Being. The Word
is just a drop in a whole ocean of possibilities from which you could
have chosen, that includes the one that you have. God IS (verb to
be like in Yehova), experiencing Himself through the manifestation
of The Word in you.